There are many kinds of blood relationships, such as mother, father, parent, child, sibling, aunt, uncle, niece, nephew, and cousin. Those relationships are well-understood and it is not necessary to actually count the generations to know the relationship. These beautiful bonds are a purpose of living. Companionship in relations may be found with one’s child, or a brother or sister, or friends, or uncle or aunt etc. These relations start from primary support and lead to great dependency. It’s these relationships that give us the strength to fight every odd, they hold us when we are about to fall, they lend us a shoulder to cry, they bring smile on our face etc. All these relations have their own limitation, rules and principles if respected they will flourish if abused they will lose their meaning. If one recognize this basic rule of relation, they will open doors to a broader spectrum of ways of being with ourselves and each other.
Today, in this blog, I will be writing about one such beautiful relationship and that of an aunt with her little niece, which is formed by the bond of two females related by blood. This relationship is like no other; it becomes special solely because an aunt is her mother’s peer given this fact she automatically becomes the bridge the child can rely on when she wants to know more about the life of her parents.
Having grown up in a house with parents, two brothers and three sisters. Access to advice, school timetable, homework, gossip was quite hard to come by. I needed someone to listen to my daily life experiences but sine I had 2 younger brother and 3 younger sisters my mom was busy in house chores and Dad with outside work. They would hardly get time to sit with each of us and listen to us individually. Lucky, we had our aunts and uncles living with us in the same home. They were single and that was something that we took full advantage of. We were the only kids for them whom they loved very much. It’s hard for me to choose which of my uncle or aunt I would like more or less because I love them all equally and all of the are special in their own ways but yeah one of my aunts who was a teacher had left a lifetime impact on us. she was the part role model, part friend, part- teacher and part mother.
Every time I needed support when I was scolded for doing something wrong, I would run towards her, I love the way she advised me at different stages of life, I admire how she kept my little secrets and yes I am thankful to her how she sit with me and did the homework together with me. I acknowledge the importance of this relationship when one day I became an aunt.
It was a wonderful day when we received a call that my sister had given birth to a baby girl Zindagi. Zindagi for real become our Zindagi since the day she was born. The bond that she shares with me is that of otherhood, very much like motherhood, but with the prominent factor of other. Becoming an aunt is absolutely out of your control; it just happens, and the event changes your life. People say, happiness does come in small packages, I agree although she is not fruit of my womb but when I hold her in my arms she become a reason for joy and smile. I am very fortunate that I have seen her growing up, I remember the day when she could speak in broken Pashto with me and today she sent me a message on whats app. I was in coffee shop reading my book. I hardly respond to any msg when I am enjoying my book but this time when my cell flashed the msg said “Hi Khala Huma I am Zindagi” Gosh my heart melted big time. I closed my book and got on my phone right away. All I wanted was to hug her tight but she lives far away from me. So to catch this memory for lifetime I didn’t see any other way than writing about it so one day that she is grown up she can read how her khala felt for her when she got her first msg.
Unlike other relationship I didn’t have to work hard to establish this bond, it was always there. During my university time, I was living in Germany, I would visit her every weekend, buy her favorite gifts, clothes, chocolates and take her for walk. We always enjoyed our little talk and walk. I am an auntie of two wonderful nieces now They both reminds me of my relation with my aunt and I am proud of it. Being an aunt is joyful and responsible relationship. I feel a strong obligation to be there for them when they need me. Because of the distance, I only see the nieces one or two times a year; however, I make sure I skype with them twice a week. They are silly with me, and I with them, I am like a kid with them, they make my fun and I make their fun that’s okay and works perfectly fine for us. They both feel closer to me than to my other two sisters its due to the reason that my other two sisters are married and won’t have much time for them but since I am single I give the more time. Recently, I have started online English practices with Zindagi. Whenever she faces difficulty with English homework she calls me and I explain it well to her. When she called me for the first time about her English homework. I posted It on my timeline on Facebook.
“#ThatWonderfulMoment when your 12 years old niece calls you from Germany and requests you to help her with English homework. She was confused about Has and Have. It was cute when she said “Khala Huma, I’m one person why I should use have instead of Has, you know with singular we use Has. I replied “Zindgai it’s the rule, you have to accept it, there isn’t anything I can do about it, sweetheart! She said ach so and accepted it, then we did the rest of the homework together and it was absolutely a fun. Btw she is as nice as her Khala”
Zindagi beside being very special for me she is also very loved by my parents. She reminds them of my childhood. It’s cute when my mom says “Kila
“Kila che Zindagi mata gore fikir kawom che ta ee” Whenever Zindagi looks at me, I feel like you are looking at me”
Zindagi is 12 years old and Dunya is 4 years old. I cannot wait for the day when they will call me to share their little secrets with me and I put a smile on their faces.
A niece is a gift whose worth cannot be measured except by the heart.